Gimmicks Will Get Us Out of This Financial Mess!

Gov. Daniels intends to go on TV to give an infomercial about his budget plan as he releases it. Well, it’s not being billed as an infomercial:

Gov. Mitch Daniels will reach out directly to Hoosiers on Monday to outline his budget proposal for the next two years during remarks that will be offered for live broadcast at 6 p.m.
. . .
The governor’s remarks will be transmitted by satellite for TV and radio broadcast. He will begin his remarks – estimated to last only five minutes – at 6:01 p.m.

The budget is a complicated document that probably couldn’t be meaningfully explained in an hour; let alone five minutes. The Governor’s five minutes of TV time probably can’t be regarded as anything more than a superficial sales pitch.

All things being equal, I’d prefer Troy McClure and Dr. Nick to Governor Daniels:

Troy: I’m here to tell you about “Spiffy!”, the twenty-first-century stain remover. Let’s meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera.

Nick: Thank you, Troy! Hi, everybody!

All: Hi, Dr. Nick!

Nick: Troy, I brought with me the gravestone of author and troubled soul Edgar Allen Poe! [exhibits a grimy tombstone]

Troy: One of our best writers.

Nick: Yes, but unfortunately, a century of neglect has turn this tombstone into a depressing eyesore.

Troy: So what? I guess we’re going to have to throw it away.

Nick: Not so fast, Troy! With one application of Spiffy, you’ll think the body’s still warm! [applies some Spiffy, removes all the grime]

All: Ooooooh! Ahhhhhhhh! [The name “POE” twinkles]

Troy: Quoth the raven, “What a shine!”